Love Dynamics Today: The Condom Conundrum – Deji Olabode
Key thoughts; We must value the protection of our heart and life over the protection of our genitalia at the prospect of sexual intercourse.
Anyone who is sexually irresponsible with you, has unequivocally proven to you that they have the capacity to be sexually irresponsible with someone else should the opportunity present itself.
Those who see the use of condoms or contraceptives as the panacea for all sexual ills are grossly underestimating the power of impulse and spontaneity in humans at the point of sexual intercourse.
Sexual promiscuity is a global issue. The sexual revolution of the 1960s completely changed the moral landscape of humanity forever. The seed for the sexual chaos of today was aggressively and intentionally sown in those years. The outcome has been the global explosion of pornography, divorce, rape and sexually related crimes. The religious institutions of our day has simply responded to this sexual onslaught by quoting what their respective sacred books said is unethical. Unfortunately, this has not worked, since even some adherents of the various faiths are also caught up in the same sexual vices.
The secular society on the other hand, is attempting to cure the ills of sexual promiscuity by promoting the widespread use of contraceptives like condoms and the pill. Those who see condoms as the panacea for all sexual ills are grossly underestimating the role of impulse and spontaneity in humans at the point of sexual intercourse. If religious, governmental and business institutions are confused as to how to deal with promiscuity, the onus rests solely with the individual to seek personal clarity on the merits and limits of the use of contraceptives vis a vis , the development of responsible,sexually ethical behaviors. The following are five things that condoms will not protect you from.
CONDOMS WON’T PROTECT YOU FROM HEARTBREAK. Have you ever heard of condoms for the heart? I doubt it. I often laugh when people are quick to pull out a condom before engaging in illegitimate sex,calling it protection. Health savvy as such actions may seem,they reveal a fundamental misplacement of priorities. They seem to me,to value the protection of their genitalia over the protection of their heart and minds, and that is unfortunate. One ancient writer speaks of guarding our hearts with all diligence,for out of it flows the issues of life. We must value the protection of our hearts and mind over our genitals at the prospect of sexual intercourse.
CONDOMS WON’T PROTECT YOU FROM EXPIRATION. Countless times I have had single ladies particularly confess the drastic change in attitude to them, of most men after sex outside wedlock. Well, I always have a hard time explaining to them,that their awe has expired in his eyes. Seldom do men regard with awe women that they have sexually conquered. One way to maintain that awe in courtship is by saving sex for marriage. So if you don’t want to expire fast,zip up.
CONDOMS WON’T PROTECT YOU FROM BEING REPLACED. Nothing is as painful as seeing someone you were once sexually intimate with,in the sexual embrace of somebody else. The blatant truth is that anyone who is irresponsible enough to be sexually promiscuous with you,has automatically proven to you that they are likely to be irresponsible enough to be promiscuous with someone else. The only way to avoid such traumas is to choose not to be promiscuous at all.
CONDOMS WON’T PROTECT YOU FROM THE GUILT. Promiscuity always leaves the bitter after taste of guilt on us all. It could be the guilt of an abortion or even the guilt of cheating on another, just to mention but a few. No one needs to be taught what is right or wrong. We all were born with an inbuilt ethical regulatory system called the conscience. The violation of our personal consciences is what produces guilt. That guilt is the mother of low self esteem in all humans.
CONDOMS WON’T PROTECT YOU FROM JUDGEMENT. There is an undeniable judgment for living a sexually promiscuous life,except we change our ways. This judgment could come in form of a shattered marriage,an unwanted pregnancy,a fatally complicated abortion, or a sexually transmitted disease, just to mention but a few. None of us is smart enough to escape the consequences of our wrong actions except we genuinely turn a new leaf.
This is not to mention the various spiritual and financial complications that trail promiscuity. The bottom line is that we should be more concerned with protection of our entire life, than with the protection of our genitals. The surest way to protect your life is by living a sexually responsible life and by confining your sexual rendezvous to the institution of marriage, having chosen an equally responsible marriage partner. Anything else is bound to cause you pain sooner or later.